Thursday, September 1, 2011

Savored Memoirs!

Leonardo Da Vicni said “Our life is made by the death of others”. It is true in every sense, at least in my part of the story. Just when I thought I had none to look up to, none to talk to, and none to hear me out, he was there standing, waiting, on the other side with arms wide open, embracing every moment of my life.
I miss being with him every single day, seeing myself grow with him. Tears.Smile.Hug.What haven we shared? There were days when I used to happily return back after school, just to whisper into his ears how beautiful the day passed by. Some days, I whispered the story behind my teary eyes and he embraced me like a best friend.

Sometimes, all of us wish to have a friend who could just know what we are going through, who could just pull out a smile from the melancholic face and well that one friend generally remains as a wish and never shows up in reality. But I was lucky, I must say. To the others, I liked being alone. But for me, he was there all the time, during the cold winter nights, during the bright sunny days, when my favorite pen stand broke and when I could not make it to my favorite band, I just took a walk down to my park, stood next to him, and stared right in to his eyes and he understood me so well, and boom, I felt better. May be because, he never judged me like the school kids.

Few friends are chatty, some are silent, reserved and some would just be a bad mouth. I never had any complaints about him. He was a good listener, looking at him would make me feel so blessed and I whispered when I was bored staring at him. We shared some sort of eye to eye telepathic conversations that only us could understand. And the best thing was, he never asked me back anything, he never wanted me to hear him out. He waved in air with his gorgeous arms and just let me be.
It is said, it’s hard to get friends who last for lifetime. But I always thought I had one, until, one day, when I returned from school, he was gone. I went down to the park and there was a garage, replacing him, (the coconut tree) who stood there for me every time. And today, he was gone like that. But this time, I held back my tears. I could not cry, for people might think I was crazy. But every time when I think about him, the days when he embraced me and no one did, makes me feel good that I too had a life lasting friend and someday, one day, I could plant one more when I grow old and motionless.

I was taught in school that nature takes care of u if u take care of it; that nature is good, that nature always gives you, and if u believe in nature it will make u feel good. It did all that they taught in moral science period. But I learnt in the EVS class that one should protect trees and that if we don’t it would glad to ecological imbalance and people would go starving. As, I write this piece, I wonder if anybody learnt EVS at all, because, he was cut down to built a garage which they could have built in another place. Or, maybe this is what is meant by “Our life is made by the death of others”?
Sometimes the best memories in life are savored to pass it over to the generation that comes. And this is one such memoir!


Wednesday, August 31, 2011


"Aie, How do i pedal if u ride this fast", she grimaced, as he stood there with his little cycle. My eyes which was continuously facing the Accounts sheet, looked up for a moment when i heard her saying it. She stood there with tears and they left after sometime. Some entertainment is better than nothing, i smiled at them from my balcony and left inside.

Next day, again she tried moving th cycle as slowly as she could while he glided as rocket through the widened, faded and deserted streets. She stood in front of my house gate, leaving her cycle down and watching him waft. She watched for few minutes, then " Mmmm..Mom, asked you to teach me, do u remember that?" she pouted. He stopped beside her, took her cycle, parked his near the gate. "Look how i pedal and you do the same, alright?", he dictated.

Two days he tried showing her patiently as to how to pedal. He no longer quickly twisted his cycle at the ends of the road and created that fine dust. He slowly moved the cycle just for her, but it did not help her. She could not pedal, she took one step and she fell the next minute, scratching her small hands. I was so curious to see what he would do next. He never lost hope, he smiled at the poor thing, made her sit on the cycle, he held her cycle from behind. She turned and warned him never to leave the cycle. He vowed. She moved few steps now, "much better unlike before, come on u can do it", he shouted. She got down, they hi five-ed. Today, i saw her gliding as gracefully as she can in the very same faded streets but she never pouted, she smiled graciously, while he rode beside her. Looked cute!

Forever and always, to those Cute things:)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


This post of mine, won the Best Runner Up blog last year.

She lastly signed her death form. She signed and ended the signature with a raised smiley. He had tears in his eyes but controlled it, her boy friend. In two days its Valentine’s Day and they are in the local hospital. She was admitted for the last time, by last because she reached her terminal stage of cancer. Those scissors and cotton balls must have reminded of her crafts teacher. They gave her anaesthesia to relieve her from the pain that she had under gone for almost six long dry months. He has unconditionally been there with her, throughout her gruelling cancer period. This is going to be her last few days. She was deep in her sleep. He took the doctor out and warned everyone from the doctor to the nurse and the maids not to show up with a

sad, serious face. He changed the entire setup of the room. He covered the room with her favourite pictures, changed the wall screens, and scented the room with her favourite room spray. When she woke up, she was puzzled to see the entire room changed. He disposed off all her medicines which she was having it every day for all those six months. He brought her pretty clothes to wear and played good music. Before going to bed she asked him for medicines. He ran his fingers in to her beautiful black hair and said she has almost recovered and medicines are no more going to be her food. She smiled with joy and prayed God. She told him that her prayers did not go in vain. He nodded, smiled at her innocence and kissed her forehead. He read out some fashion weeks and some novels before putting her to sleep. He chocked in between while reading but managed his fine tone and composure. He slept right next to her. It was February 14th and he woke up early in the morning, got her beautiful flowers, a mixture of all vibrant colors. She slowly opened her eyes and he stood in front of her with a wide smile and flowers in his hands. She sat up with tears in her eyes. She kissed his cheeks and kept the flowers near her. He said it’s their fifth year of dating and held his fore arm to his chest. Her beautiful eyes looked tiny now covered with dark circles. Her flawless cheeks looked sober and dull. She was very weak yet she believed she has recovered. She asked him as to when they would be leaving. He promised her they would be vacating the hospital this night and they would soon get married by the country side. She was overjoyed by his words. He could not control his tears, so he left the room saying he has some talks with the doctor regarding her discharge. He went to the vivid garden down the hospital. He sat there for hours looking at their couple photos and her love letters and her personal diary. He finally cried, after six months. His strong heart which believed she would recover and come back to his life finally yielded to tears. He saw an eighty year old man in the end of the park. He sat next to him and poured down his entire grief. He lied on his lap and burst in to tears. The man said she is too lucky to have him. But she never could hence have him. He rubbed his teary eyes and left to the room. The evenfall, he played some music for her and went through some books. She asked him for some water. She complained of pain in her stomach. As the night fell, the pain became gross and unbearable. She cried of gruesome pain. The doctors rushed inside and did the necessary. He could not see her like that. He left the room and stood outside. After 15 minutes, the doc came out with tears. He hugged him and said “O, boy! She is gone! But never from your heart.” He cried loudly. He cried so long as he could. He then entered the room and went near her. He knelt down, looked at her and wiped the last drop that was running down her cheek. He noticed a small note beside her. It read:
” Honey, I know you lied about my recovery. I am not angry at you for that. I too pretended to be happy; I did not want to disappoint you. I knew God would not answer my prayer this time. I had always got everything whatever I wished for. I was very greedy and asked him for a life long journey with a guy like you. But unfortunately I am leaving you in the middle of the journey. Hope you forgive me for this. Thank you for those beautiful pictures, music, clothes and flowers. I will always be there for you unconditionally though not physically. I love you!”
He held the note and lied next to her crying. Few months later, he recovered from his grief. He visited her grave every weekend. He listened to her favourite music and went to bed reading her note that she left for him near her death bed every night. And he placed some good flowers in a glass cup near his table, which had the same water that she had sipped and left it near her table in the hospital before her demise.
Life is not all that fair. It gives you one big precious thing but you cannot live with it for a long time. It is like, you have a huge chocolate pan cake before you but you’re handless. And it is very rare to find someone like Him to feed you that pancake without asking for a share in it. It was indeed a rare yet a lovely valentine’s day. :)


I did not realize when my friends told me about the disorder in their sleeping pattern. At a point of time, everyone around me had a person to share their things to! Every one to whom I was close to, kind of alienated themselves, not much but variably. I was perplexed, paranoid, confused. Wondered, where did those guitar classes, happy meeting on Sunday’s, football classes go. None of my friends turned up. I felt amused at this relation that they were holding to.

A week later I ran in to this friend and asked him to give me company on a Saturday evening after school. He refused. He said he had to go for a dance show! I was bewildered, the guy who made the chick in my class cry her heart out teasing her about her dance, was attending the very same girls dance show. Where the hell was this all heading to - I mused. I did not arrive at a concrete solution.

I went to my mom, and asked her permission to make a late night call to my friend that night to ask him about this change. She side glanced me, reminded me that the time was eight. But I convinced her, got the phone, and went up to my room to finish the business with the men who lost their heads! "Hh...Hello is He there?" I inquired. But his mom replied he was sleeping. I called up the other gentleman to ask his scene. His phone was busy. I left him a message to return my call, knowing his parents had left him to their servant. Grey, the latter mentioned gentleman, showed up the next morning. He did not talk about the calls, texts anything. He smiled as he waved and sat on his place. I approached him, asked him to confront and he did! In fact they all did. They all now spoke as real gentlemen; they spoke of so many things which went above my head. Date, dinner with her, red roses, scented cards? Whets all this? And why now, when New Year is about to come? - I paused to question them. Valentine's Day, was their only answer.

You mean, valentine, a girl friend, it took time for me to register that word into my pot head. I went to Grey and asked him if that aint a swear word. After that, everything was self explanatory. I was embarrassed. At this point I felt my mom should have given me a girl's name. I was burning inside to have a valentine too, to erase my embarrassing moments. I went to the kitchen; saw my mom preparing supper. I roamed inside for some time and then went to the couch. I sat there, wondered for while as to how I should put this. I did not have the sack, like my fellow gentlemen. Left to my room, eating cookies! I thought my life cannot be just about eating cookies and asking permission for making late night phone calls. I am no more a boy, but a man. I gathered all the left out guts and went to the dinning hall. Now I see another man in front of me - my dad! How am I going to act, how do I bring it, where did my hypothetical mustache go, I panicked rubbing the skin between the upper lip and my nose.

"Mom, Dad! What do you think about me getting married?” I asked! Period... Later on, I regretted, as that was the worst thing a ten year old could have asked. They patted my head and spoke of something else. How could I do this, what is wrong in having a valentine this time, why don anyone understand my anxiety? Questions after questions annoyed my mind.

Weeks later, I found her finally. New neighbors, my mom shouted as I ran down to take a peek. She wore a pink frock. She waved at me as she smiled. I became quick friends with her. I thought she was the one! I did not attend my friends calls, did not go for football practice, did not do anything productive, but I played stone, paper, scissors with her, just to touch her flawless soft skin.

We became good friends as days went by. We shared almost everything be it a choco pie cookie to catching a place in the yoga class. I was so close to her that I forgot how the days passed by. The feeling was so different. Talking over the phone without mom finding it and crying for silly fights, such a bliss the days were.

"Aie, How do i pedal if u ride this fast", she grimaced; as he stood there with her little cycle. Boy, she looks stunning in that frock. She stood there with tears as she fell from her cycle.

“Ahm, Well I was taught by my dad. Din your dad teach you how to ride one?”

“Nope. My dad and my mom are divorced and half my life went in juggling between them before I could I settle down in here with my dad, she smiled as she said”.

“Alright, do not worry, I will teach you how to ride the bicycle. Okay?”

“She nodded and smiled, then left”.

Next day, again we tried moving the cycle as slowly as we could while she looked very panicky and tensed. The street looked widened, faded and deserted and there I stood with my lady love teaching her to take tiny steps in her bicycle. “Okay, See how I glide through in my cycle and then I will show you too how to ride. Ok, Deal? Watch me now. She watched me for few minutes, as I glided through the deserted streets like a rocket. Few minutes later, I stopped it and parked the bicycle beside her, and made her sit on her cycle and made her take tiny little steps by asking her to peddle it front and back.
Two days, I tried showing her patiently as to how to pedal. I forgot to quickly twist my cycle at the ends of the road to create fine dusts. I slowly moved the cycle just for her, but it did not help her. She could not pedal, she took one step and she fell the next minute, scratching her small hands. I never lost hope; I smiled at the poor thing, made her sit on the cycle, held her cycle from behind. She turned and warned me never to leave the cycle. I vowed. She moved few steps now, "much better unlike before, come on u can do it", I shouted. Three weeks I was her master. I felt so great when she rode her cycle graciously unlike before. I never felt so happy when I stood class first, but was beyond happiness when she rode her cycle. “Gosh, what was happening to me? I pondered.” But whatever that was, I felt good, and happy.

I decided to ask her for a date, give her red roses, scented cards, and kiss her hand. The last part was my thing. I wanted to be different from the rest of my gentlemen bees who flocked around my class queen bees, while I got the queen of the queen’s bee with me. I never really liked similes and metaphors, but now Shakespeare was my god, Romeo and Juliet was the best thing that the world can have! How could I change so much, has she really got in to me? I sneaked the phone in to my closet every night only to talk to her. I could not sleep; I puked that night, because there was this weird feeling. A sense of anxiety, happiness, nervousness, a state of impulse to capture everything, gushed in to my muscles, nerves and veins, in to the stomach and settled in the esophagus out through the mouth. Is this all about valentines? Girl friend? scented cards and roses? - I lay flat dreaming.

I rehearsed profusely to make my valentine day perfect. "Hi, You want to come for a date?” Hi, What say a cup of coffee?" so on and so forth! Finally I got the perfect pick up line. Few days for the Valentines Day, I was all excited and happy. I went to my mom and dad, told them about my valentine stuff, iterated the pickup line, and stood still for their comments. My mom hugged me, while my dad called me the champ as I had his exact love genes, that passed on to me without any flaw. I went to my room, stared at the roof, fell asleep.

Few days and she was gone. She went to her mom's place. Her parents were divorced and for the next six months she would stay with her- I got the info. I felt something cracking deep down inside me. I ran to my house, up to my room, shut the door, and cried my heart out. That suit which hung on the wall laughed at me, those scented cards smelt lousy, and the roses are dead by now. I was a valentine-less boy.

14th February, I woke up, went down to the kitchen. I saw my mom and dad hugging. I went and hugged them too. I was over with that trauma. I wiped my tears and gave my mom red roses and the scented card, told her the pickup line and I kissed her hand!

I ran to my room, looked out of my window in to her house and felt that I too was in love a week back! I smiled!

You know road manners ah?

If you know road manners then why you are crossing the rail way track when the gate is put? You think it shows your heroism? FYI, It doesn. It shows how stupid you are.

You don get me. After reading this, tell me how many of you have done the same way as I have written.

29th May 2011.

I and my dad waiting for the railway gate to be taken for us to go. Oh, I was going for a school re union. I was all happy and dressed up well. One mistake was I din go by car and I went with my dad in a 2 wheeler.

As a result, I have to see this stupid man and as a result I am made to write this note.Have you ever stood in a railway gate with your two wheeler. It is so shitty i say. Because, this side you are waiting with your fellow passengers. And there the other side also people will be waiting for the gate to be taken and to sped their wheelers. But the stupid and the funny thing is, if you keenly see, both sides, generally people shud leave one way gap. Both sides, people should park their wheelers in the left side, so there is way for the opposite side wheelers to go, once the gate is taken.
But what do you stupid people do. You stretch to the entire space like a tsunami and stand like warriors with rough faces and with your wheelers on and making that bullet sound, leaving so much dusts . Why? You want to show, you have so much petrol? And simply you will horn. Why? You want to show you can horn? Such scene. Waste fellows. You can shut up and switch off ur bikes and wait for the train to pass no? but you wont. You will stand this way as if you are going to charge the other side once the gate is opened. If we ask you, you will say, I am in a hurry, what you know. Fool, if you stand this way, how will the opposite wheelers will come? what they will jump on top of you like how they show in movies and go or what?
Without understanding this, you will stay and then create traffic. Now, you will be pissed more and horn more with that bullet sound also. Waste of petrol and noise pollution. And when you go to ur wife's side (In-laws)place, you will put scene. "Yes sir, India can never improve". "You should see Belgium, China, whattaay place sir watttay place. Chanceless". Indirectly creating jealousy to your in-laws, that ou went to Belgium and china without them. Fool, in foreign, people wont do like what you do here. They know road manners. You will talk as if you know road manners. If you know, then why are you doing this way here?

Anyway, that day, when I was standing in the railway gate. This guy walks in between from the opposite side with cigar in his mouth. His both hands were busy holding some bags. So only support for the cigar is his dirty black lips. I keenly watched him and was laughing at his stupidity while I was muttering the same to my dad. Don know what happened. That guy comes to us, and says, I know it is illegal to do this. But what to do. The train is not coming, thats why instead of standing simply, I thought I ll cross. And cheapishly laughs at his defense. He thought he is like a Ram Jethmalani to have won the case. Oh so if you simply stand means, you will cross railway gate ah? On top of it, he also says, you know sir? Yesterday also the train din come at all, while I was crossing the same way, one guy fainted as he waited for the gate to be removed. :-\. My son is waiting the other side for me to cross carefully, and you know, I am carrying these bags and leaving my son on the other side to walk freely. You thought we will say "Whattay an idea sirji"?.
Stupid guy. If police arrests you tomo if you try crossing the gate, who will walk you off free from the Police station?

You might think, I am talking this way because I am irritated standing with my two wheeler in the hot sun. And you ll go home, and talk bad about India. When will you realize you were wrong? god only knows.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The other end of stupidity

Welcome to facebook,

Log on--> Home page---> scroll down, scroll, scrrool, scrr, sc,(bored.

AAA has friend requested you.

I go check the profile. No mutual friends. Photos barred from viewing.

Info page

Name : AAA

College/Education : Ramachandra Art & Science college

Likes: Dan Brow, Idli, Staring the roof, Jumping while it rains (:D What a nut crack he is)

Dislike: Hurting others, Flirting, etc etc.

Sports: Sky diving, Gymnastic, table tennis

Music: Metal, progressive, disco, metallica. All english bands

Interested in : Humans

Languages known : Tamil, German, Spanish, Norwegian, almost most of the languages.

Philosophy : I will rule the world soon.

Favorite quotes : All that glitters are not gold.

Relationship status : Single

Sex : Male (duh, I have a male name, cant u see!)

Okay, who is he?




How do you know me?




Through your profile


Me : Ugh (What a genius you are!) Wow.

AAA: Really?

Me: :O ofcourse ya, tell me the truth, did u give ur chemistry paper to Neil bohr?

AAA: Heyy, who is he?:)

Me: Oh, you don know him? He is my uncle's friend.

AAA: what pa, how will i know ur uncle's friend?

ME: Point. See, i told you, you are so brilliant ya! (laughs at his stupidity)

AAA: Heyy, can i make friendship with you?

Me: Sorry, I don befriend strangers

AAA: Befriend na? what ya?

Me: Make friendship

AAA: why ya? come on, i am not a stranger now na pa?

Me: (Now na pa, wow sounds so musical) Well, of course you are a stranger. anyway sorry. bye

AAA: I know ur uncle's friend also now, that means we are friends na?

Me: Who is my uncle's friend?

AAA: Neil bohr. You told pa.

Me: LOL. Yeah yeah. Sorry. Just becuase you know Neil bohr i cant be friends with you.

AAA: Then tell more about you pa. What do u like. Ur hobbies. I want to know more about you pa.

Me: Not interested bye.

AAA: Why pa? Chemistry working out na well? We can be friends pa.



Friend request page

AAA Not now Confirm Delete Request

(Duh, Delete request)

Few days later,

AAA: Hey why pa? you deleted my request?

Me: Hey don disturb me.

AAA: Come on, :( You hurt me.

Me: (Decides to play along) alright, so tell me, you know so many languages? You know even Norwegian. So cool.

AAA: Heyyy, no pa. I was typing all alphabets out and put the ones that sounded cool.

Me: :O (Doesn reply)

AAA: heyyy, tell me about you ya, what u dng?

Me: doesn answer the question. Requestions.
What about music interest? I see youlike Metallica. Nice

AAA: No pa, I don know english music. I am write now hearing to paravai muniyama song. You like her pa?

Me: Wow. Yeah i like her songs too. (and stares at "write")

AAA: See pa, i no, chemistry working pa. Heyy u watch manada mayil ada?

Me: :| Doesn reply..btw, u read dan brown? Which book of his you loved?

AAA: I went through the cover pa. I liked the last book cover. It looked nice compared to other books.

Me: (:| Facepalm). Decides to block

AAA: Hey pa, I frend req again. Don del ok va?


Sometimes, we feel we are not cared, we are stupid, we are bored.

And when we see people like this...we just cant stop laughing.

The other end of stupidty always continues to keep us on a reality check, always and forever.


I stare at his info page one last time, laugh out loud.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The musings of a girl.

I am tired of writing on varied topics that strike me when i travel, wen I eat and ofcourse when I walk. Now, for a change i have decided to see in to what goes in to my life, and put it down in words. This might infact give me an idea as to how lame things have been, and how awsome things could be. I am writing this note cos i am basically frustrated, worn out, and brain constipated. Yeh. yeh, the very same musing of a girl, you might think. But hell I don care.

So, I got up at around 10 in the morning, Sunday. If it had been home, then the scene would have been different. I would ve loved and hated the scene at the same time. what would be the scene, you ask. Yes, I shall tell you. It would have been
something like this.

Thatha...Enna mani, ipidi yaravathu thoonguva? Kumbakarnam mathiri?
(Translation: Is this the time to get up? Is this the way some one sleeps? Like a Kumbkarna? ) Kumbakarna was some guy who used to eat and sleep and do nothing else. What life it must have been? SIGH. Anyway.

Wiping my eyes, and scolding thatha in my mind.
Onaku enga enoda kazhtam puriya porthu? Manaseee seriyala. Ena vazhkai yo! po.
( what do u know about my problems? you wont even understand. Whta life is this? Shux!)

My family, is a well, nuclear, not really, but yeh u can say so. I have 2 thatha, pattis. (2 grand mom grand dad.) Appa, who makes as much fun of me at all times irrespective of my mood swings, which ranges from saying bye when I say hi, and saying Odamba pathu Ko when he comes to visit me in Pune with that i-am-going-to-leave-you-alone-now look.(Take care of ur health), when i don want him to tell that.But yah apart from that, yes he is a jovial, adorable lil kid wholoves to get things for all and puts for having got any for himself. So cute, aint it?;) His best all time liners would be.

Subhashree, nee pune la irukara purpose eh vera, athunala, chumma ooru suthama, nana padi ma, avalavuthan solluven.
(By now you should atleast know, he is adressing that line to me. It says, Subhashree, the purpose for which you are in Pune is different. So don roam about and study well. Thats all.)

Yeenma, ivlo watch vechundu iruka? Nalaan, 12th padikum pothu kuda, pakathathu mam kittenthu thaan watch vangindu poven.
(Why do ve so many watches? I used to borrow my neighbours watch when I was in 12th)

Basically, atleast according to my observations, in a tam brahm family, the eldest member starts a story like this and the entire chain follows that. They compare this generation lives to their 12th /PUC or final year college life. Gosh, they potray such drama in their teenage. Hate. I say this generation, which means kutti chevura irukara pasangal only included. (Useless fellows)

Now Amma, a must say tamil iyer inside but a gethu corpo woman outside. One hell of a woman, who can get the tiniest nerve out of my body, and showers all the love to her beloved daughters. And that would be me, obviously and my twin sister.(about My twin, give me sometime. She is another one, to talk on for hours. Phew!) Amma is extreme. She might cry for a cute father-daughter story that has an uncanny resemblance to her life(witnessed a lot of times) to beat you up for not obeying her(experienced) and making awesome thakali rasam(tomato rasam) *rasam = watery substance that tastes AWSOME, which you have it with hot rice and papad*

Ofcourse like appa, amma also has her own share of best liners. They would be:

Enna mo Panuma, vara vara lawyer ku padikaren nu ethuthu pesha kathunduta
(Do whatever you want to. Now a days, you have started arguing a lot)

and well, Daughter-mother talks always have arguements and best liners. Lol. :D

Now Jaichu, My twin sister. My better Half. My Ore thangachi.
Typical sister of a tam brahm family. Pottu kuduthal(bithcing about me to mom), velai vanguthal(demands work), Thirutu thanamaga clothes suduthal(stole my kurti's).
But what is life without all this masala? We are hard core men inside when it comes to real fight. A mini WWE. And samathu pen kuzhandai's(Adorable girl kids) to outsiders :P. Decent student, good singer like me. Timiruness(attitude) most of the times atleast to me, silent, reserved, big time shopoholic.

Her best liners would be:
Forget it dee.
Enna subha? evlo tharava solaren fan podatha nu.
(what subha, how many times have i told you not to switch the fan on?)

And Thatha's Patti's...Well they are adorable, lovely, orthodox which is non acceptabe as well as cute in theri own ways!
In toto, Anyway, i miss this beautiful home:(